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Romance in a Mass-Produced Envelope: The History of Valentine’s Day

by Jarod Kearney

It could be the most important decision of your life. You stand there, pale and sweating, your eyes subjugated by the endless aisles of red-satin boxes and Korean-made plastic flower bouquets. Do you go with chocolate, or is that an unwelcome clich?? Should there be roses, tulips, or carnations….hey, wait a minute, isn’t one of those for funerals? And didn’t the television inform you that you are worthless unless you buy a string with a series of hardened rocks attached? My GOD, What do you do?

You begin to convince yourself that a nice set of fishing lures will last longer, AND have the added benefit of creating quality time for the two of you. Yeah, that’s right, fishing lures! But wait, something is telling you..yes, there is definitely a distinct part of your primitive brain that is actually resisting this resplendent theory. Your face flushes, your hands twitch, your feet begin sweating with frustrated vigor.

“Wait a minute!” you exclaim, “What has led me to this loathsome [...]

Jarod keeps us informed and entertained about how history played a role in the evolution of how we treat our loved ones on day’s like today.

I took care of my lady today and would love to hear the ladies explain what they would like from their admirer today. Is it chocolates that butter you up or a nice dinner by the fireplace? Let us bad gift giving guys know.