It’s great to share a birthday with Clint Eastwood. He is by far the baddest man in Hollywood. That being said, I’d like to take this opportunity to say that I don’t believe in birthday celebrations. Actually that is wrong. What I meant to say is we celebrate birthdays wrong. I don’t think I deserve to celebrate today, this day belongs to my mother. She had to carry me around in her womb for 8 months. Yup, at the 8th month she decided that I should be taken from her womb. She had a cesarean section to get her 9 lbs baby boy out of her womb a month early. Just imagine if I had one extra month? Every decision she made while I was developing was made on my behalf.

• What foods to eat
• What music to listen to
• When to go to bed
• How much wine to drink
• How much crack to smoke…joking

So that is why I feel that I shouldn’t celebrate today. The only thing that I felt like I did for this to happen was to be that sparkle in my father’s eye and my mother not yet exhausted from working three jobs down the road to help buy clothes and Intellivision games so I could be brain dead by age 33. So feel free to pass the message on to my parents. They read this every now and then. Thanks Mom, I turned out alright. Sorry Dad if I ruined any chance at attempting another kid.

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2. My Birthday Wish…You Can Help Make It Happen
3. Birthday Wish
4. The Best Four Years Of My Life