One of my favorite shows on TV is “I Shouldn’t Be Alive” on the Discovery Channel. Coming up to my recent trip out west, I joked with some friends about me being on that show. Well needless to say I was a few miles away from being just that… in the middle of the desert without gas or water and 60 lbs of excess weight, most of that on my belly. Let’s see if I can tell this story without making it long.

I was driving from San Diego, CA to the Grand Canyon in Arizona. I searched for directions on my Treo phone and yahoo driving directions pointed me to a hiking trail to the Grand Canyon off an Indian Reservation. Now I search Yahoo driving directions online and it gives me the correct directions… Hmmm how convenient. Keep in mind that I had no idea that it was an Indian Reservation. It said to take I-18 off of Route 66. Now prior to that I woke up from my hotel and took off driving east on Route 66. I figured the next gas station I’ll fill up and grab some water and grub. Well needless to say I didn’t find any when I turned onto I-18. That was a good 70 miles without a gas station.

When I turned down the road I saw a nice big happy park sign with camp grounds and mileage on it. I figured there was civilization somewhere down the road… That was my rational when I heard the voice in my head say, “oh shit, looks like a big mistake!” As I entered I-18, keep in mind the I does not = Interstate it means Indian Reservation, my gas gauge was less than a quarter tank.

I drive to the mile 12 sign and that stupid voice in my head went off again saying, “OK! time to turn around and get back on 66 and find some gas.” Nah, I’m only 12 miles in and yahoo directions says the park is 65 miles in… keep driving. I figured I’d call my brother and tell him my stupid adventure. No cell
signal… WARNING!!!No cell signal… WARNING!!!

I paid no attention.

By the time I got to mile 40, still no cell phone signal, panic was pushing chemicals through my brain warning me of my doom. That is when I saw a van on the side of the road. I pulled over and saw a Native American waiting for someone. I was hoping it was me, but no. Here is the conversation…

ME: I’m running out of gas. Is there anything around here where I can get some.

HIM: No!

ME: There is nothing ahead.

HIM: No!

ME: Fuck… Where is the closest gas station?

HIM: Turn around and get back on 66 and head east for a few miles.

ME: I don’t have enough fuel to turn around and make it. I’ve only seen about 4 cars pass me. My directions tell me that there is something ahead about 20 miles.

HIM: Nothing. The only thing there is a helicopter pad.

ME: Really? That is my best bet. Thanks.

HIM: OK.

I took off hoping I could make it to the helicopter pad before I ran out of gas. Before I arrived there I past a total of 6 cars in 65 miles. I was running on gas fumes, no water and my body was already eating off the plentiful supply of fat storage that I saved up for an occasion just like this.

I got there and BOOM!!! Cars were lined up on both sides of the street, must of been over 100 cars parked. I parked the car and ran straight to the helicopter that was ready to lift off. I bum rushed the cock pit and begged the pilot if he knew where I could get some gas. He pointed to his passenger in the back. I ask the passenger if he could help me out. I didn’t have enough gas to make it back to the highway and I’m stuck, if there was anyway he could bring 5 gallons back with him. I felt calm, I know the human spirit and I was in desperate need. He looked at me and screamed above the helicopters blades that he couldn’t help me because he was to do a sermon at a church. I realized this prick wasn’t going to do it and I succumbed to begging him for help. I could wait till his sermon was finished, if he could find it in his heart. He looked at me and said, “sorry there is no way I can help you.”

I lost my shit and questioned his faith asking him how he could leave a fellow man in distress while moving on to preach the lords love for mankind. I didn’t hold back either, I was pissed… So they took off and I felt like my survival took off with them. I asked many people if they knew where I could purchase gas or if I could siphon some. I was told it will cost me and trying to make me feel like I did something wrong… I know I did, but damn they would’ve been in big trouble if I was Bruce Banner.

Finally I asked a rancher that was selling supplies to hikers. I was in luck. He sold 5 gallon minimums at $5 a gallon. I was willing to pay $10 a gallon. I felt so lucky and finally began to relax and enjoy the setting. As he finished dumping gas into my car he directed me to the gas station on 66 and sold me a couple of drinks as well. I felt good now.

Got back to Route 66 and to the gas station where I was happy to see the price at $3.19 a gallon. I thought I was close to the Grand Canyon, I was only 200 miles away now… I got to the Grand Canyon National Park at 2 PM and enjoyed the view… I sucked it up and lost my thoughts in the gorgeous and peaceful view of one of natures most breathtaking sight… The Grand Canyon… Worth the trip and worth the exhaustion.

Here are some of the pictures that took me on an adventure… More to come soon.

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